Have you ever felt so awful, so heart-breakingly lonely, that all you want to do is crawl into a corner and cry bawl until you can’t breathe? Welcome to my mindset once every couple of weeks. I miss my ex-boyfriend, who up until recently still loved me, even though I broke his heart. Now that love is gone, and I have no cushion for when I fall. I miss my summer fling, who gave me a week of sheer bliss, then wanted nothing to do with me once camp ended. Now I feel like no one loves me. Not in that friendly “Ohmygosh I love you” way. That “I love you, Elana. You’re amazing” type of way. Yes, in this context, I am That Girl. The girl that only wants someone to love her, see her for who she really is. But I’ve felt love from someone before, and now that it’s gone, I feel so vulnerable, so open to be hurt, that I keep my heart sealed away, sealed into the steel vault in my chest. I’ve been hurt so many times, I feel like that vault inside me will be sealed forever. What keeps me going is that out there, somewhere, is the person who will take the time to open the vault and see how much love I really have to give someone.
Adieu, Readers.
</3lana
(Elana)